Audio transcription:
1.
I knew of an asian man. His body was small and he was going blind. He quit his office job and was training to become a masseur – to see with his hands while his eyes cease to see. He was a devout christian and was known to pray for many hours every day. People called him a holy man. One time, I went to his place to get a massage. After the massage, he prayed for me. As I was about to leave, he smirked and told me to never bring a black man home because that would make my mother go into a long fast.
I don’t even like men, I think
standing there
looking into his blank eyes
I like to sin
I thank god that he is going blind
I think of her black hands caressing my inner thighs and her voice softly speaks, spread your legs, with a half question mark lingering at the end
spread your legs … ?
the question mark
pulls us
closer
us two
just two
question marks
floating in our worlds
not looking
for answers
but sometimes
longing for
a burning touch
to feel we
still are here
in this
world
writing this in a small room in sassnitz where I stay for cheap in exchange for
work the host keeps calling me mulan
because
you know
I’m asian
I don’t mind
because here
I’m here
to see the big water
to put my heart down
seeking for
a moment of rest
2.
I undo your gold cross necklace
that you’ve worn your whole
life layers of your black curly
hair tightly tangled around the
clasp not letting the necklace to
open I break the hair apart
fuck
your bare body
without the cross
until you cry for
jesus
drip words about
heaven
3.
너는 애기 때 징그럽게 예뻤어
개새끼처럼 뒤뚱뒤뚱 거리면서
when you were a baby
you were disgustingly pretty
toddling around like
a son of a bitch
these words are tender
these words are love
my grandma
할머니
the air you talked about
death
my grandma is just waiting to die
I saw an old woman dying from choking on a piece of
potato I didn’t know that a human’s face could turn
so blue
made me want to cause
death
we were sitting in a
cemetery
you said
if you were to be facing death
you’d get married
just to see what happens
you’d have children
just to see what happens
I often do things just to see what happens
even when I don’t actually really want to do them
wind blows
across our faces
you’ve always liked watching my hair in
wind strands of my hair enter my mouth
which I slowly open
are you seeing me
just to see what happens?
wind blows
through the space
between our bodies
carries us
away
apart
this is my memory of the death between us
one afternoon
in a windy green cemetery
toddling around like a son of a
bitch looking disgustingly
pretty
too sweet
too sick
Poems by Inky Lee
Header Image by Max Puorro
Inky Lee is an interdisciplinary artist and writer living in Berlin.
